Montserrat

I sit here, conscious to the elements,

Elements maintaining form and feel,

My eyes rest easy on the amber lit valley.

My lungs taste the air of olive tree forests

My feet hold firm placed on the trekked tracks of Catalan monks

My ears twist to the notes of crunching steps and whistling sparrows

All the while, my skin basques half in the coldness of a clouded east and half in the warmth of the setting sun of the west. 

It’s enriching to rest 

It’s fulfilling to be present 

I should get going soon,

Soon before night hugs this mountain with frost of December

But for now, let me have this moment 

Let my body rest sedate till my calves go numb, and my digits grow cold 

Let me have this time

For the moment,

But also for the memory. 

Transcription - Written on Montserrat, Barcelona, 

07-12-2023

Changes

Deposition of Christ 1587 Pieri Stefano

I think for a while I've tried to control my moods. I wrestled and grappled with my psyche to bend and contort it into submission. But I never mastered the art of Brain Jiu-Jitsu and no matter how hard I tried I could never choose to wake up in a good mood. On many occasions I have definitely awakened to a comfortable brain brimming with freshly topped up serotonin, but it was never something I could force. 

That’s the thing with a bad mood when you wake up to it. You wake up feeling shit, you're tired, you're hungry, your brain is in a chemically altered state. You can’t command your mood any more than you can command the tides of the ocean. 

I can’t control the tides, but I can understand my mindset. I can dive into my mental thoughts and mental rhythms. By swimming amongst the pools of my emotion states I can look and see the negative thoughts flowing within my grey matter. I see their location and why these ideas reside in me. 

I breathe slowly through my own consciousness,

In,         and,         out,         with deep breaths,  

clarity in my mind appears, clarity in my thoughts releases itself.

I can now find strength from my mind instead of labouring from beneath it. 

And through my own mindful presence and intention setting, I’ll get a good night's sleep and maybe, just maybe I’ll wake up fresh to a good mood. 

Trails

Surround me hills.

For that's why I am here.

To be swallowed whole,

By rocks that are dormant,

And fog that is flowing.

Smother me in a sunset hidden sky,

And coat my skin with Padua's mountain valleys.

For on this glim lit path,

Where step precedes step,

I may not find home, 

But I may find myself. 

Rainbow-Washed Revenance

Dilemmas and demands for the Doctrine of the Faith

How much should we expect from the Catholic Church? What reforms should we be thankful for and what progress should we be impatient for? These are all questions that have stirred through my mind as I’ve spent the last weeks walking and reading my way through the structures of the Papacy. 

Gold Cross - Cathedral di San Pietro (Bologna)

The Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith is a 500 year old foundation that is cemented within the Vatican. Initiated in 1542 by Pope John III, this organisation has since shared and officiated church doctrine. If cardinals or priests have a question the Dicastery is the one who writes back. Letters to the consecrated editor if you will. 

It’s not often that the Dicastery has been part of news headlines, but on the 3rd of November they published the succinctly titled “ Answers to Several Questions from His Excellency, the Most Reverend José Negri, Bishop of Santo Amaro, Brazil, Regarding Participation in the Sacraments of Baptism and Matrimony by Transgender Persons and Homosexual Persons”. 

The voice of the Vatican clarified that people who were transgender could be baptized and them along with them homosexuals could potentially act as godparents. 

From this came a media storm, great changes were reported to be happening within the church, dare I even say could the Catholic church begin to be considered progressive?  While this step is an important one and does reflect some sort of doctrinal alteration within the institution, we must not get too excited for as always, the devil is in the detail. 

Two main points are worth considering, one- the Catholic Church still treats members of the LBGTQ+ community as people who participate in an immoral lifestyle, and two- the church leaves prudence within the hands of the clergy, a group of men who has been told repeatedly that queers who act on their urges represent “an intrinsic moral evil”. 

On to the first point of living as a sinful being. In the 2023 response to the Brazilian Bishop the Dicastry makes repeated mention of the Baptismal reflections of St. Thomas Aquinas taught and St. Augustine of Hippo. These two Saints who both wrote repeatedly on how Baptism itself can lead the sinner to a life of righteousness. 

“even if a man falls into sin, Christ does not destroy the character 

received by him in Baptism and seeks (quaerit) the sinner, in whom this character is 

imprinted that identifies him as his property”

Answers to Several Questions from His Excellency, the Most Reverend José Negri, Bishop of Santo Amaro, Brazil, Regarding Participation in the Sacraments of Baptism and Matrimony by Transgender Persons and Homosexual Persons- 2023

Saint Augustine, by Philippe de Champaigne, 1650

So, what the Church is saying through its own mouthpiece is yes, we don’t support your actions, you are still an abomination but why not join us? Join us and maybe the Catholic guilt will free your soul to an everlasting liberation. Don’t find salvation in yourself, they say, because within the pride of one-self is only sin, find salvation instead in the sacrosanct of Jesus.™, join us for Sundays and pay your tithe. Look how progressive the Church is, they would even consider letting some queers in through the front door!

I say consider, because “considering” leads us to point two; the latitude given to ministers to exercise their sacred rites. Let us dive back into the letter and pour through the details of how these ceremonies are considered.

“However, since such a task does not constitute a right, pastoral prudence demands that it should not be allowed if there is a danger of scandal, undue legitimization or disorientation in the educational sphere of the church community… due pastoral prudence demands that every situation be wisely weighed, in order to safeguard the sacrament of baptism”

Answers to Several Questions from His Excellency, the Most Reverend José Negri, Bishop of Santo Amaro, Brazil, Regarding Participation in the Sacraments of Baptism and Matrimony by Transgender Persons and Homosexual Persons -2023

Jurisdiction of who is let into the church is left to the hands of the local priesthood. They are the frontline soldiers of the churches, soldiers who have been and still are told that a queer lifestyle is a sinful lifestyle. In 2021 the Dicastery released a declaration stating that blessings could not be applied to same-sex relations as...

“there are absolutely no grounds for considering homosexual unions to be in any way similar or even remotely analogous to God’s plan for marriage and family”

-Responsum of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith to a dubium regarding the blessing of the unions of persons of the same sex- 2021

The Catholic Church's power stems from a moral authority built on a long standing catalogue of theological texts and declarations. It’s not just the bible, but also the words of Saints and previous proclamations the Church has made to build up this catalogue. The Authority of the papacy drips from their ability to cling to the past.The Church considers themselves harbingers of the eternal word of God and when you consider your words as eternal it only makes sense that your reforms end up moving at a snail's pace. It afterall took the Church 359 years to apologise for threatening to burn Galileo alive for surmounting proposing the foundational fact that indeed the Earth really does revolve around the sun. 

The Church is by all accounts a conservative, not a reformative organisation and this reflects on their relationship with the queer community. They have said that no one should have the door of the Lord closed to them, and yet the church hands the key not the people but to their foot soldiers to carry out the orders. For decades these priests and members of the ministry have diligently listened to the Church’s words and teachings. They listened when they called homosexuals sinful and they listened when Pope Francis likened gender theory to nuclear weapons, and it’s to these people that the Dicastery entrusted them to allow a more “open” space within the Church. 

Yes Pope Francis is the most palatable Pope us queers have seen in a very long time. Yes, his Jesuit robes and teachings may be the teaspoon of sugar to the bitter elixir that is the Vatican but boy is it a big, powerful Church, and it's going to take a lot more than 4 grams of sweetener to hide its taste of something so pungent. 

“It’s not a crime. Yes, but it’s a sin,” 

Pope Francis on homosexuality, January 2023

It’s important for me to reflect on the role of The Dicastery, for in that I find my own role for myself as an artist. The Church is spending effort, money and time to release edicts to change the world in the direction they see fit. They preserve their power and their own authority by recalling the past. 

It’s not good enough for the Pope to sit down and break bread with people in the Trans community or let selected gay couples into their converted rituals. I will not be lectured that I'm a sinful creature, I simply expect more from a moral authority that speaks to 1.3 billion individuals. I’m not looking for change from within because it will never reach the pace I desire. The power structures of the Church rely on the slow moving of social tides not the wash and crash of a reformative storm. Well us queers are that storm, we are that destabilising factor that will come in like Noah's flood and wash these pontificated men out on their behinds.

This is my Dicastery, these are my edicts to inflict my agency onto the world, an agency that is truly filled with an undying love for my fellow human beings and sacrosanct of the self that any Abrahamic God wishes they could come near. My edicts are ones that indulge in the pleasures in humanity, from sucking cock to denying the shame of Catholic guilt. My soul nor my pride will never be held to ransom by the white robes of the ordained, I simply respect my soul too much. 

Keep rocking that boat, never accept that enough is enough till the Pontificate is on their knees begging us for forgiveness. x

Pope Pius VIII kneeling, St Peter's Bassillica, Monument by Pietro Tenerani, 1866

CBS San Francisco 2015 ,Pope Francis Compares Transgender People To Nuclear Weapons In New Book, CBS online news article, Feb 20th, accessed on 19th november 2023,< https://www.cbsnews.com/sanfrancisco/news/pope-francis-compares-transgender-people-to-nuclear-weapons-in-new-book/ >

Columbia College, N/A, Saint Augustine, by Philippe de Champaigne, 1650, Core Curriculum Catalogue, Accessed on 26th November 2023, <Saint Augustine, by Philippe de Champaigne, 1650. | The Core Curriculum (columbia.edu)>

Dallas K, 2023, The pope’s latest comments on same-sex marriage, explained, Desert News Article, October 3rd, Viewed on 25th November 2023, <https://www.deseret.com/faith/2023/10/3/23901388/pope-comments-on-same-sex-marriage>

Dicastery for the doctrine of the faith, 1995, SOME CONSIDERATIONS CONCERNING THE RESPONSE TO LEGISLATIVE PROPOSALS ON THE NON-DISCRIMINATION OF HOMOSEXUAL PERSONS* ,<https://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_19920724_homosexual-persons_en.html  >, accessed on 19th November 2023

Dicastery for the document of the faith, Translated by Lewis M, 2023 ,English Translation of the DDF’s Dubia Response to H.E. Msgr. Jose Negri (Oct. 31, 2023), 

,<https://reasonandtheology.com/2023/11/08/english-translation-answers-to-several-questions-from-h-e-bishop-jose-negri-of-santo-amaro-regarding-participation-in-the-sacraments-of-baptism-and-marriage-by-transgender-individuals-and-people-i/ >, accessed on 19th November 2023

Fastenburg D 2010, The Galileo Case, Time Magazine online article, 17th June,  Viewed 26th November 2023, <https://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1997272_1997273_1997285,00.html> 

Luis F, 2021 ,Responsum of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith to a dubium regarding the blessing of the unions of persons of the same sex, Dicastery for the doctrine of the faith , accessed on 19th November 2023

,<https://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20210222_responsum-dubium-unioni_en.html  >

Winfield N, 2023, Pope suggests blessings for same-sex unions possible in response to 5 conservative cardinals, Associated Press online article, October 2nd, Accessed on 25th november 2023,<https://apnews.com/article/vatican-conservatives-synod-lgbtq-5c6e33d4d45aea1b0b5553d3acc799e1> 

Winfield N, Thomas T 2023, For this group of trans women, the pope and his message of inclusivity are a welcome change, Associated Press online article, 19th November 2023, Viewed 26th November 2023,<https://apnews.com/article/vatican-transgender-lgbtq-b3d67868504ba701cce09da9ecc94de0>

Vactican, DICASTERY FOR THE DOCTRINE OF THE FAITH, Vatican official website, Viewed at 23rd November 2023, <https://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_pro_14071997_en.html>

Mortification of the flesh; The story of pain and pleasure, shame and power

He is the original toxic dom. A non-consensual expression of shame and sanctity. A control freak who demands that you must submit without sanction. Bend to their rules, to their sadism, not for your own pleasure or fulfilment but to remind you must never feel proud for your soul is tarnished by sin. The entity I speak about is his holiness, the God of the Catholic Church. 

The Ecstasy of Saint Teresa - Gian Lorenzo Bernini
 Cornaro Chapel of the church of Santa Maria della Vittoria in Rome
Saint Teresa often is often inferred to be having an orgasm in her connection to God 

“Pleasure and pain were the earliest forms of emotion to evolve” 

Jaak Panksepp , American neuroscientist

(pg 320, Leknes, S,Tracey I, 2010)

Pain and pleasure are fundamental parts of the human-psyche. These sensations however are not singular auras on opposing ends of a spectrum but a webwork of neural pathways that interweave and intermix. Like any bodily sensation these feelings involve internal processing of the brain that rely on our own contextual history. Conversations between the frontal lobe and the posterior parietal cortex occur every time pain-potential nerve endings are fired. This deliberation sees these sections of the brain weigh up risk and context in order to create the searing feelings we end up feeling. From stepping on a nail to biting your lip your previous experiences may directly alter your current ones. We can acknowledge this by realising the same cause of pain can result in differing subjective circumstances between people, time and place. The interesting question arises as to whether pleasure can be found when pain is experienced. 

“To our knowledge, neuroimaging studies of pain have not identified a single brain region that has not also been implicated in aspects of reward processing”

(pg 322, Leknes, S,Tracey I, 2010)

Of course there are the physical structures of the mind, the highways and interchanges that make up the maze-like nature of the brain. Along these pathways opioid and dopamine chemicals are hauled as cargo to be routinely delivered to the pleasure centres of the brain. The modulation of pain and pleasure rely on the same roads and the same chemicals. It's no wonder after knowing this, why some humans may seek pleasure through pain. From sadists and masochists performing an impact scene together to joggers running till they have shin splints there are constant examples of human becoming elated by what others would deem as a “displeasurable experience”. How these two threads of pleasure and pain interweave are both varied and nuanced, but one thing is certain, these connections are natural, they are commonplace and they should not be carried with shame.

“So it is not surprising, given the weakness of our fallen nature, that some things can become associated with our sexual nature that don’t in fact have anything to do with it in its healthy functioning”

Friar. Hugh Barbour, Priest of St. Michael’s Abbey

Diocese of Orange ,California

Shame, hypocrisy and subjugation. These are the weapons of the Catholic church, an institution that deems to lecture on what is considered spiritually and sexually healthy. A pack of repressed clergy who dare to tell what is right, what is moral and what we ought to be ashamed of. The absolute richness and deception of these namecallers to defile us, queer, kinky, consenting fun loving adults as the perverts. They are a clergy of men who at the best of times must be described as sexually repressed and dysfunctional. These cloaked men of faith and intolerance will put their noses up to leather-bound adults teasing and playing in safe spaces all the while many of them participate in acts of self-flagellation in the name of the original daddy, God. No kink deserved to be shamed, but hypocrisy and intolerance does. 

Confessional - San Petronio, Bologna

Self-flagellation has been officially part of the church's idealism of self control since the 16th century. During this period changes into the practice were adopted where striking not only incorporated shoulders and back but also raw unclothed buttocks. This caused quite a stir in the church. Goodness gracious, could there be an element of sexual pleasure where these priests flogged their behinds till they bleed and their souls repented in ecstasy?!  Of course like any toxic dominant does, these questions of intrigue were quickly squashed and silenced. The catholic calls this practice “the mortification of the flesh”; A literal translation of bringing shame to the body. It’s a degradation kink that's based on doctrine instead of consent. There is no communication in the Diocese, only devotion and servitude,dedication to Daddy deity and the robed men who surround him. In their utilisation of shame and pain the church has grown power through controlling human expression through only the outlets it deemed fit. This power has gilded their golden towers at the same time it has created complexes for those who wish to explore pleasure and pain within healthy realms and exploration and consent. Shame controls people, it stifles self expression and enforces the status quo. People hold themselves back from what might bring them fulfilment in the presence of the teachings of the vatican. All the while these men of God flog themselves in private enjoying their fucked up doctrines in their own un-healthly ways. 

“We could hear it when we were in the next room at Castel Gandolfo. You could hear the sound of the blows when he would flagellate himself. He did it when he was still capable of moving on his own.”

-Descriptions of the late Pope John Paul II acts of self-flagellation that adhered to church doctrine.

(pg 10,Cirillo A, 2012)

Don’t shame the kink, shame the hypocrisy, shame the intolerance, shame the power. 

Shame to the church that stands on marble floors willing to condemn us for our pride and our lust. Find pride in your own existence, find pride in what they deem sinful, for with pride there is no shame.

BARBOUR, H ,The Attraction of Aberrant Behavior, Catholic Answers , Accessed on 11th November 2023, <https://www.catholic.com/qa/the-attraction-of-aberrant-behavior>

Cirillo A, 2012, Self-Flagellation as Sanctification in the Roman Catholic Church's Prelature of the Holy Cross and Opus Dei, Academic Article, accessed on 10th November 2023, <https://sa.rochester.edu/jur/issues/fall2011/cirillo_rel.pdf>

Vandermeersch, P. (2009). "Self-Flagellation In The Early Modern Era". In The Sense of Suffering: Constructions of Physical Pain in Early Modern Culture. Leiden, The Netherlands: Brill.

Leknes, S,Tracey I, 2010,  "Pain and pleasure: masters of mankind." Pleasures of the brain: 320-335, oxford university press, New York City, USA

TEDx, 2011, TEDxAdelaide - Lorimer Moseley - Why Things Hurt, Youtube video, 22 November, Accessed on 23 November 2023, <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwd-wLdIHjs>

Sinful Taste

I never thought it would lack such taste. Yes, it's beautiful, the Byzantine inspired mosaics, the flowing drapes of baroque marble, the chiaroscuro composition of 17th century stretched canvas. Yes, it's there locked away in Saint Peter’s basilica. It’s all there and it's all a lot! Like 100 generations of Franco Cozzo* stacked atop of each, it's a temple to eclectic excess. There have been 266 popes and you can see many of them at Saint Peters wanting to out- grandize their predecessor. And boy through the gold, the polished stone they’ve done a great job at not holding back. I love the art in Vatican City. I just hate the fact it resides there. The finest art secured away by ancient doors with ancient seals. Its doors are locked while sacred men act as custodians of the keys. If only the keys were given to women or some queer surely the layout would be better and the message oh so less bitter. 

I could just be writing this because I’m tired and frustrated. I’m in one of those sleep deprived places where the emotions are feeling raw, they feel like they are buzzing just below the skin, just where the tendons and muscles meet my layers of fat. At any moment they could ride to the surface as goosebumps or tears, but for the moment they just sit there buzzing. 

I can feel myself becoming more radicalised at the same time I am embracing my true self. I’ve made art that matters, yes I’ve written artists statements but finally this artist has something that needs to be stated. We’ve got a lot of work to do, institutions to tear down and manifestos to build up. It's time to create, in order to rebel against a one dimensional patriarchal system occupied by clergy. If indeed my existence is in itself blasphemous my work deserves to be blasphemous. Assuming my life is a deadly lustful sin, then my art in order to be true needs to reflect that. It’s time to radicalise and expel those demons of the priesthood and fill them with the virtues of the queer, kink community. 

I think nipple clamps would suit the bare chest of Saint Andrew best x. 

* For those of you not from Melbourne, Australia, please watch this video. 

Franco Cozzo TV Commercial

- Edited transcript of visit to Saint Peter's Basilica from 30/10/2023

Heavy Rains in Florence 3/11/2023

The rains are here. Downpours and swells have met me at an appropriate time. For as this Tuscan city is washed and cleansed so too am I. The litter and baggage of youth  is being swept above by the fresh showers of an enlightened mind. New ways of imagining myself have solidified as I’ve gained techniques to process thought. 

With an internal monologue that speaks at the rhythm that mine does it’s easy to get lost in cycles of thoughts. I find these currents of ideas and emotions build up and up inside of me till there's no-where to go. Of course I’ve utilized these updraughts of mental stimulation for productive purposes. Every semester each one of my Uni subjects I always left my studio subjects to the last minute. Forced by over-aspinational plans for work and driven by an artistic sense of pride I would work feverishly into the final deadlined night. Dosed up on dare iced coffees and 6 Inch Subways subs I tinkered on till I was the last person working in the studio. I always remember a certain point I would become flushed with heat, it could be mid-winter in those Mebounre studios but i would be none the wiser, singlet clad I would run back and forth between multiple spots in the studio, yes I was spinning multiple plates to get the assignment done but baby that's how I did it, and fail me not once every time I got it done. 

It was only till years later I found out why the room had felt so hot, I had always thought it was my flexing muscles and active cardio that was pushing my body to further temperatures while what it actually was my body being in a mode of absolute panic. 

Our bodies have developed systems long ago to adapt to their surroundings, our flight and fight mode is such one of them. What I was feeling in these moments of heat was the hot-shot of Adrenaline that was being delivered straight into my bloodstream. They call it 

Vasodilation, the widening of blood vessels. If we understand that it is the constriction of blood vessels that lead your un-gloved fingers to feel cold, then we can easily understand how dilation could lead to that feeling of heat. It's a feeling that arrives first in the front of your face and washes through till it arrives at your toes. Menopausal women know exactly what I'm talking about, it’s the same dilation of blood vessel’s walls that causes the infamous “hot flush”. Yes anxiety has served me well, I think this is largely why I can think so well under pressure, because I’ve done so darn much of it. I’ve gotten a lot out of anxiety, probably more than most who suffer at the hands of a quick clicking mind.

But of course to every Ying there must be Yang and for every flight and flight there were also overanalysis and spirals. It’s a cycle that once it gets started comes with a momentum of its own. The heart pounds the, the cortisol spikes, the mind goes and chews through thoughts and inferred meanings. Each of the steps can loop back into the process creating a feedback effect of where your thoughts can feel so strong because they are being backed up with the most powerful chemicals known to the human body. 

For the first time today I did something I've never done before, I stopped the cycle. Yes I have previously clawed my way back from near panic attacks ,but today was different, today was the first time I stopped it in its own tracks before it had even begun. The thoughts started, the cortisol flowed into my bloodstream and yet I paused not to continue the cycle I’ve done thousands of times, I paused to breathe in and exhale. Three short deep breaths pulled through the diaphragm and boom, back and level-headed. It felt as if I’d almost flicked this buzzing fly away with one finger, poof and gone. 

I’ve known and done breath work for a long time, but it's only recently I’ve been able to manifest its positive qualities so successfully. I both know a lot more about my body as I do my own mind, both from internal and external perspectives. I’ve isolated my egos within my own mind over this trip. I can now see where the dispersions of mind stem from, what my motivations are, what is my conditioning, what makes me, me. 

I’ve also invested a lot of time into the external view, the studies, the chemicals, the analytics behind us all. Cortisol, often called the stress chemical, is primed and readied by systems within our autonomic nervous systems. Fight and flight responses that are holdouts from when we needed to get the heart pumping and blood sugared up in case a lion gave chase.

It’s quick breaths that symbolise the moment of panic while it’s slow deep breaths that symbolises calmness. There's no mistake there for the parasympathetic nervous system is shown to become active through slow, deep breath work. Your parasympathetic nervous system or PNS (yes, get the giggles out kids) is what your body uses to regulate your energy so that when you rest you can metabolise and process foods and liquids. By breathing in slowly and deeply you are actively triggering this rest inducing system, we can see this by the measurable drop in cortisol levels that occurs from breathwork. This is something we can see in the laboratory but it's also something I felt today. When my mind’s chemical structures intermeshed with my own mindful practices I found quietness; A quietness that can only be felt after a heavy rain. 

 

HK AIRPORT

What is it like to live in a fishbowl? It’s a question that has been stirred by one of my stop-over travels.  I never really got to see Hong Kong during my 5 hours stopover. Yes I saw the HSBC building, the steeped neon lit dim sum shacks, the hawkers, the vendors, yes I saw them all, not in person of course but plastered and stretched onto vinyl advertisements. Images displayed for mainland and western eyes. This is all I got to see of Hong Kong, a flattened projected image specifically devised for transiting individuals with their bum bags stuffed with cash.

I did see some islands, real islands.  As the flight attendant forced my fellow sleeping passenger to open their window seat view for landing I caught the thin sheen of light that pours over the south China sea during morning hours. Those glowing waters wrapped and framed the many peninsulas that emerged from Hong Kong's volcanic geology. It really was a glorious sight to indulge and lean into my from aisle seat. 

There are 90 boarding gates in Hong Kong Airport. Stretched into long segments a birds eye view of Hong Kong’s airports will elicit an image of a crudely drawn stick figure with 2 arms and 2 legs outreaching from a central body. It was here where I had 5 hours to ruminate, relax but most importantly above all, not fall asleep. I can’t say so far it’s been an easy task, it's been 7 years since i’ve flown internationally and the seats whose headrest I found excruciatingly uncomfortable did indeed turn out to be adjustable. This sublime fact that I could rest my neck in some normal conformation was alas only released in the 8th hour of a 10-hour leg of the journey.  So here I sit mindlessly typing away in the fish bowl that is Hong Kong airport. Don’t get me wrong it has beautiful views but a fish bowl nonetheless. It’s an air conditioned glass sarcahphocous whose only connection to an outside atmosphere is a 15 metre by 15 metre garden. This garden is not a relaxed respite but an overcrowded yard where smokers cling to the shaded edges of a sanctuary punctuated by corporate modern art.  In the marinating smells of Malboros and jet fuel you appreciate the fact it's luckily only a five hour stopover. Hong Kong airport, a layover ,a place to eat and an answer to a question. What is it like to live in a fishbowl?

21-09-2023 - edited notation from HK airport

Experimental Ideas from the V&A food court

“The modern sculptor is a man who works with instinct as his inspiring force. His work is emotional. The shape of a leg, or the curve of an eyebrow, etc., etc., have to him no significance whatsoever ; light voluptuous modelling is to him insipid—what he feels he does so intensely and his work is nothing more nor less than the abstraction of this intense feeling, with the result that sterile men of Auceps' kind are frightened at the production. That this sculpture has no relation to classic Greek, but that it is continuing the tradition of the barbaric peoples of the earth (for whom we have sympathy and admiration) I hope to have made clear. 

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b5/Gaudier-Brzeska%3B_a_memoir_%28IA_gaudierbrzeskame00poun%29.pdf) 

Henri Gaudier-Brzeska

I think I've struggled for so long because what I've done is exactly what I've planned to do. I set out goals and achieved them, the problem was I set out the wrong goals for my tastes. I’ve found my work to be cold and stilted because I set my goals to repeat and represent the form of a figure. And by centering the form I dispossessed the emotion. I can replicate form, I know that. I’ve studied anatomy and I can understand a figure's body as well as I understand my own. What interests me about art, is the extension of emotion into a material medium. I need to make that my goal and therefore I need to define my process by this. 

Unconfirmed process IDEA---- 27/09/2023

1. Get image of human form in expressionistic pose (could source others or photograph myself) 

2. Paint the pose in really simple movements (thick expressive painted brushstrokes) 

3. Use this drawing to create a form, remember to follow the lines most importantly, you can always fill in details later (toes, face, get the form and movement right and the details will add not subtract. 

Elemental Angles

  

Fire, Water, Earth and Atmosphere all play their role in ceramics. Igneous forgings that undergo hydrolysis form the compounds that make clay. Once again the forces of fire and the medium of water are utilised by human hands to render clay into vitrified forms. Nature and nurture, Fire and water, Clay being Earth. 

Video Work
2023- June 

16 seconds 

Don't be too precious

 

-Smooth even throw lines

-Appropriate weight at the bottom for a foot

-Countinous curve so the spoon wont clink the bowl

-Softened rim for pleasurable lip feel

-Large size for maximum soup capacity

Pot was immediately sliced and recycled for tomorrows classes.

If you make something great don't get too precious about it. Don't hold onto the past victories but revel in the continuous journey that is developing a skill. Recycle your work and wedge towards greater destinations. Thats the satisfying thing about developing your craft, it's about the journey not the vitrifications.

Spiraled Clay

 They are rhythmic in nature

Sweet spirals that dance in circles of pulled clay

Loops of fluid forms

Centred and calmed by outstretched motions

Twist and squeeze,

Stern tendons in contact with slip covered earth,

Press and push,

The clay resonates in the form it finds natural

The helix bends of thrown clay forms

The curved twists of outstretched silica

The potters favourite form,

Spiralled clay

Over Perfection

 

All artists know the pain of Over Perfection. An over complication of the composition, one layer of varnish too much, or a simple little touch-up that turns into a Mr Bean level fuck-up; we’ve all been there. 

The Potter's Wheel will laugh at you and throw your mistakes back into your face. Overworked pottery will eventually collapse, the thinness of the walls will tear itself apart between the spinning tension of the wheel head and your clasping hands holding onto the rim of the pot. Here I start and finish with a bowl, what is seen in between is a series of chaotic structures. Each time I recentre the collapsed walls of my failed creations more clay is lost and more air bubbles are introduced. It's a process that only gets worse till eventually you are left with the last remaining grams of uncorrupted clay. And with that small morsel of pure clay you will indeed create something, but that something is far more inconsequential than any of the grand forms you could have settled for. It’s your own hubris and ego that has landed you right here. From an empire of dirt to your tiny finishing bowl you realise what your dreams and desires have pushed you to destroy. You realise how the preconceived wishes in your own mind had obliterated the beauty of the art that had laid in front of you. 

Sometimes you will ride the line right up to the edge. Sometimes you will find that blissful balance between design and outcomes, balance and chaos. Sometimes though you will ride right past that line and straight off into the cliff face chasm of overcorrecting overperfections. This work is about the latter not the former, it's about when you go too far not when you don't get far enough, it's about Over Perfection. 

Chemical Changes

 

2023 video work

4 minutes 24 seconds

"The act of firing clay in a kiln is the first act that we know of that purposely effected a chemical change. When we produce a handmade set of mugs, we feel we are enhancing our lives with something more natural than plastic. Incredibly, though handmade mugs are made using a very ancient process, fired clay was in fact the first synthetic produced"

- Suzanne Staubach

Excerpt from Clay: The History and Evolution of Humankind’s Relationship with Earth’s Most Primal Element

"Artificially" Intelligent

Five and a half thousand years ago accountants housed by the brick walls of Mesopotamia’s ziggurats pressed their reeds into soft wet clay. While the markings noted events that we may now argue to be mundane (the storage of food in the city's central granary), the same mundane assessment cannot be applied to the act of the notation itself. Through both laziness and ease of use the accountants had abstracted their symbols of what goods had entered and left their stores. At a certain point a transition was made, from pictographic imagery to what is today considered the first written language; Cuneiform. Transferring language from vibrations emitted from dancing tongues and echoes of our consciousness into something material changed everything. For once the words we say no longer exist in the temporal realms of our daily theatre and instead become fixed, permanent and extraneous to ourselves new realms of thinking could become uncovered. From pouring out your broken heart into your diary or trying to work out what you need to buy and add to your shopping list, the ability to externalise and preserve ideas outside of our fleshly bodies can help us with our own thoughts greatly.




Writing is a tool, an extension of the mind which allows us to carve new pathways of exploration. Plato famously said of our relationship to writing “It will implant forgetfulness in their souls. They will cease to exercise memory because they rely on that which is written, calling things to remembrance no longer from within themselves, but by means of external marks”. And while I lament the eternal grumpy boomer attitude of warning the younglings about the upcoming new fangled technology, Plato was right to point out that writing fundamentally changes how the human mind works. By changing our psyche, writing changed the world. Whether it was Nasir al-Din al-Tusi whose skywards plots of the planets paths laid the groundwork for trigonometry or René Descartes whose Meditations of Philosophies made us question our own reality; it was as much their thoughts as there written words that left a mark on this world.


In the information age the amusing thing is language has never been both so simple and yet so complex. All our digital data (or at least till quantum computing is firmly established) is stored in either a 0 or a 1. It is only through complex combinations that such simple binary terms can elicit a dynamic outcome. In these knitted webs of code we can find everything from poetry, to games, to porn. Right now, in news articles and in senate hearings there is a word hot on everyone's lips; AI. The newest and most intricate form of language is emerging as face detectors and image manipulators. I imagine our relationship with AI in the same way consumers held their relationship with radiation during the late 1930’s. It's something novel, something to paint on fun glowing clock dials or slap on stickers to sell new products. It’s something that at the time only a few people could comprehend its full destructive and liberating potential. I cannot definitively say whether AI will become the Hero or the Villain, whether it will be the radioactive elements they use for chemotherapy or whether it will be at the core of the next fusion bomb, I can simply guess it will probably be a little bit of both.

Fine China Fleets

 

Slicked and sheened by high fire vitrification 

A Porcelain glow rightfully deserves strong admiration

It still holds a high value to this day

For if there's a dollar to be made someone will be forced to pay

We see it today in the Ming dynasty Vases topping out Christie’s price lists 

For sale; A collected set of priceless forms previously given to your Royal Highness

Originally eyed and spied by European Travelers, 

Porcelain became a coveted material that overcame global trade barriers

As global markets grew, everywhere felt its touch

The precious material being traded within the fleets of the British and the Dutch 

But as a greed grew and trade routes found their path

Gunboat diplomacy spread and empires unleashed their wrath 

That pure white clay has inspired more than just earthen-based artisans 

But also merchants and mercenaries to travel out and conquer foreign lands

1.Way.Ticket

 One Way Ticket

(In flux)

ThreeWeekOldReRelease

17minute sculpt~

Terracotta-

20 Second recording-

Archipelago

 

~5 years on 

Stoneware Glazed ceramics form the shell of my island. A half decade long isolated, starved segment of untilled soil. For five years this Tenmoku sheened planter has been forced to fend for itself. No outside intervention after the initial planting has seen plants- thrive and depart , Weeds- settle and conquer. No Seasol, No Powerfeed, nothing but rotting leaves and the nitrogen in the rainwater to replenish this isolated Archipelago. Homes to flora and fauna for my footscray based garden we can only imagine what landscapes will form in another 5 years from now. 

Specimens 2023~April

Developed Extensions of Specimens Series

2023-captured

Moss, Raw Clay, Stoneware Ceramic, Dirt

Investigating life forms clawing at edges of framed technology and humanoid architecture.  Vitrified forms creating literal and figurative barriers, Bryopytha swimming and thriving in artificial valleys. 9 Months of uninteruppted growth, 20 seconds of video.

Put Your Back Into It

 

Put your back into it~

2023 clay extension

Terracotta, banding wheel, water, Samsung telephoto lense, plastic bag, vinyl table, sponge, wooden modelling tool, 2200K LED lightbulb, 7000k LED lightbulb, Grey Paper

Text/ure

 Texture uncoiled and unearthed~

Striations and sinews

Texture experiment using leather-hard Northcote Pottery terracotta

Tested tiles

 

Tested tiles baked and rested 

Blessed trials, failed but not wasted 

Little slithers of documented heat 

Vitrified and withered into a silicate treat 

A hard stoneware treacle 

Used by not just one, but used by many people

Snack size and and good to go 

Minds eye imagines what we will throw throw 

Images and lactations of dreamt glazed forms 

A ballet between the imaginations of the mind and the recipes of praised norms

One way ticket

 

The soul creaks through a frigid body.

Soft fires warm the feet of the human spirit.

Winter months floating on in with changing volumes of the self.

Tic tacs of potential, and hums of new beginnings.

Its four months till I fly out.

I can already feel the heat of a mediterranean and the bitterness of the north sea

It took 10 days to settle on the decision to move to Europe. Like orbiting planets aligning themselves in motion, after years of transitions events in my life have just sort of lined up. I'm going to fly into Europe in August. I will start with some backpacking and then try to settle down in some bitterly cold British town. It’s a thought I've always brewed in the back of my mind and I guess things have just come together to make this possible.

But hey, maybe I will be back in 2 months, maybe the coffee will be too shit or the weather too cold. 

But it is a one way ticket and I have a British Passport. 

I may stay, I may come back, I'll guess we'll just see how it goes...

Frozen moment

A trapped piece piece of atmosphere, a frozen moment in time 

Spheres of airs whomst prespence causes textures that are simply sublime 

Like a bursting can of lemonade paused in a moment 

The bubbles provide a striking visual component 

It's a reminder of the transient nature of glaze

While at high heats its the honey that drips down clays 

As the kiln soaks above a thousand degrees gases crawl out of oxide chains 

Its this chemical release, followed by cooling that causes glaze’s bubbling terrains 

In that frothing cauldron of the kilns heat,

Is where these crystallised forms are made complete 

If I could offer you a piece of advice

Its to release gases and ensnare in a prism of silicate ice 

Learn the processes ,put in the work and pay the price 

For while you might lose sleep and kilns shelves the results are more than just nice

They are stunning, gorgeous and deserve to be praised 

For when those shining orbs rain down into streams of glaze

We remain transfixed, we are left simply amazed.

In Praise of Shadows

A cross-shadow is the final vanish I apply to my sculptures. Flattened and preserved in segmented recordings, my works exist not just by clay occupying space but photons arranging themselves on the digital sensors I use to document. For while the depth of my perception allows me to see and understand the forms in front of me it’s quite different for you. You rely on the technology I use to record as it is the only portal that transports you to my studio. This technology demands light and lots of it. I’ve always loved the baroque contraposto appreciated in the work of painters such as Carrivagio. In order to bring out the shadows and mute the midtones I set my ISO as low as I can and my exposure for as long as I can. I place my light perpendicular to the recording device so the light slices across creating peaks and valleys where both highlights and shadows can reside. Low ISO, Long exposure Rate and Angled lighting; these are my tools I repeatedly turn to for the setups I use and the tones I seek. For when that light just hits right it gives me the finish I desperately seek, that last slice of a dark glimmer that allows matter and space to form in your mind. 

Poem for Tenmoku

 It is a delicious black ice crystallised glaze,

Named Tenmoku it has long been awarded rich praise

Both for its colour and for its the shine,

It has a history for a finish on which to sip and dine

Originally religious in nature the glazes strict definition has since changed and departed 

But in order to understand that journey have to retell the monastic tale of where it all started 

You are a Zen buddhist monk in the 13th century

You must venture to china, its pilgrimage to study, not a holiday for pleasantries 

As you cross stormy waters you are lashed with waves so that nothing will remain dry 

And across the plains you trek and the mountains you climb until you reach your monastic destination, a place revered as heaven's eye.

Up on those Fujian hills you learn the words that bring you closer to Nirvana 

You are taught of those who came before before you, you learn of the Bodhidharma

Join in and practice amongst the other monks drinking tea

Learn from the Chan Buddhist elders and set your thinking free

Store everything that you can take in on that high mountain 

So when you venture back you can release your wisdom like a pressurised fountain

You may not know it, but you pilgrimage will bring more than just faith across the Yellow Sea

It will bring a desire to Japan, a desire for the Tenmoku pots that housed your tea!

Potters and consumers will fall in love with that hematite sheen 

It’s such a striking finish it just requires to be seen!

As result of your return home there won’t just be more souls pursuing Nirvana,

But also Iron glazed tea bowls arriving freshly packaged in Japan’s many harbours

 

Confidence is key when you open up the well.

A new potter is a timid potter, it's the most immediate tell. 

Don’t dip your toes in only to jump out.

Don't spit and scream at the clay and please try not to shout.

You’re a ceramicist, a master of clay, commit to the action!

You are afterall a card carrying member of this clay bending faction. 

Have patience, have strength but most of all have conviction.

Don’t make a draft jump straight to the first edition,

You are making a pot, you aren’t pencilling fiction. 

Find the centre of the clay to commit with your thumbs.

Like a cyclone the centre of the clay is where the waves feel calm. 

Push down while you open up

Maybe clean your wheel head and tidy up the muck. 

Take your time but don't take away your courage, 

Because a potter that acts with boldness is a potter that will flourish. 

 Eyes closed and gunning for it with this one. 

Sometimes it's too easy to over perfect a work, too easy to lose the details while looking at the full picture. Too often I find my work over sculpted and over finalised. 

A good writing exercise is to write something you can barely remember. To explore a work through muted tones rather than just vivid ones. Sculpting this work is an equivalent exercise for me. To create a work exclusively through a sense of touch allows for looser ideas to be preserved. This process has provided me a way to explore amorphous realms of thought. These forms are closer to sketches than casts of finalised works. Sightless work revealing fresh perspectives and novel manifestations.

Video recording found~

Rory Young (@roryyoungartist) • Instagram photos and videos

 Persona-fired clay

2023

video peice

Multiple muses of the psychye captured frantically on film.

Form and figures collapse and emerge from the same mass of clay.

Material and energy not destroyed by merely transformed.

Recorded creation found ---

Rory Young (@roryyoungartist) • Instagram photos and videos

Nothing quite stains like Cobalt Blue 

For when colouring indigo the choices are too few 

Maybe I could choose copper in a alkaline glaze 

But I'm after a deep navy not a turquoise haze!

Cobalt forms with silica to produce the deepest of blues 

Overabundant in a glaze it may clump into purple hues 

It has been a telling feature of porcelain pots of the ming dynasty 

And has lined walls of the Persian Mosques,temples displaying piety

Seeking its use we have been driven to dig deep within the Earth 

And so for its value, violence and exploitation has given birth 

A mineral mined today not just for its glamour 

But instead to sell as a commodity under an auctioneer's hammer

It has graced the ceiling of Shahs 

And glossed the Fabergé eggs of Russian Tsars

But today, it is used instead to replace the batteries of the IPhone XR’s

On the mining communities the price of Cobalt has long since been inflicted

A story of bleeding lungs and glistening jewellery that is the story that Cobalt has depicted.