“You son of a gun, don't you think I can see you there? Festering, growing, you dare to live in MY pot? Haven't you read the council regulations, you're simply not allowed to exist.
That cocky attitude you got there is really something. Doing nothing but hogging space, you ought to ashamed of yourself! I toiled that soil. I loaded that nitrogen. I balanced that PH and YOU, you just waltzed in and made yourself at home! All I did was turn my head for five weeks and you had moved your fat ass in! WELL IM HERE TO TELL YOU TO MOVE YOUR FAT ASS OUT! Here's your thirty days notice pal, pack your bags, you are about to be uprooted from your surroundings!
Ooooo, but how I ought to get rid of you?! Chemical defoliants seem tempting. A noxious broth of glyphosate and agent orange should do the trick. I will bleach you to the Napsian wonderland you belong. Ughh, you weeds have always grossed me out. Your crawling vines, barbed leaves and rampageous nature have always given me grief. A sea of thistles, hurghhh, I can feel my stomach churn. A swamp of weed killers, mmmmmm, now that's a soothing scene.
You know Round Up is all natural, that's how you know it's good for you! HA, good for me but not so good for you dumbass!”
The plant ceases to laugh at the man's poor joke.
“Sonchus arvensis! That's what you like to call yourself!? You can fuck off with that latin bullshit, you aint nothing but a milk thistle. A good for nothing milk thistle! I can't wait to have you gone buddy, then maybe I can get some good plants in here, like wheat or cotton. You know, the non-invasive speicies type.
.....I'm starting to get tired of your sight mate. I will point my wretched finger of scorn upon you. I will revel in your destruction. I will rip you and each of your bretheren from MY soil. I will pursue you to ends of this here Earth bud!
I WILL NOT SLEEP TILL RIVERS OF CHLORINE PULSE THROUGH YOUR ROOTS!
I WILL SHOVEL A HOLE SO DEEP I DELIVER YOU TO HADES MYSELF!!
I WILL SCORCH THE EARTH BENEATH YOUR FEET, SO YOU MAY NEVER RETURN!!!
I WILL GET MY POT BACK!!!!
ooof
Phew...
um, sorry please excuse me, one's emotions can easily get heated when one's ego is threatened by a tiny plant.“
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