Montserrat

I sit here, conscious to the elements,

Elements maintaining form and feel,

My eyes rest easy on the amber lit valley.

My lungs taste the air of olive tree forests

My feet hold firm placed on the trekked tracks of Catalan monks

My ears twist to the notes of crunching steps and whistling sparrows

All the while, my skin basques half in the coldness of a clouded east and half in the warmth of the setting sun of the west. 

It’s enriching to rest 

It’s fulfilling to be present 

I should get going soon,

Soon before night hugs this mountain with frost of December

But for now, let me have this moment 

Let my body rest sedate till my calves go numb, and my digits grow cold 

Let me have this time

For the moment,

But also for the memory. 

Transcription - Written on Montserrat, Barcelona, 

07-12-2023

Changes

Deposition of Christ 1587 Pieri Stefano

I think for a while I've tried to control my moods. I wrestled and grappled with my psyche to bend and contort it into submission. But I never mastered the art of Brain Jiu-Jitsu and no matter how hard I tried I could never choose to wake up in a good mood. On many occasions I have definitely awakened to a comfortable brain brimming with freshly topped up serotonin, but it was never something I could force. 

That’s the thing with a bad mood when you wake up to it. You wake up feeling shit, you're tired, you're hungry, your brain is in a chemically altered state. You can’t command your mood any more than you can command the tides of the ocean. 

I can’t control the tides, but I can understand my mindset. I can dive into my mental thoughts and mental rhythms. By swimming amongst the pools of my emotion states I can look and see the negative thoughts flowing within my grey matter. I see their location and why these ideas reside in me. 

I breathe slowly through my own consciousness,

In,         and,         out,         with deep breaths,  

clarity in my mind appears, clarity in my thoughts releases itself.

I can now find strength from my mind instead of labouring from beneath it. 

And through my own mindful presence and intention setting, I’ll get a good night's sleep and maybe, just maybe I’ll wake up fresh to a good mood. 

Trails

Surround me hills.

For that's why I am here.

To be swallowed whole,

By rocks that are dormant,

And fog that is flowing.

Smother me in a sunset hidden sky,

And coat my skin with Padua's mountain valleys.

For on this glim lit path,

Where step precedes step,

I may not find home, 

But I may find myself.