Rainbow-Washed Revenance

Dilemmas and demands for the Doctrine of the Faith

How much should we expect from the Catholic Church? What reforms should we be thankful for and what progress should we be impatient for? These are all questions that have stirred through my mind as I’ve spent the last weeks walking and reading my way through the structures of the Papacy. 

Gold Cross - Cathedral di San Pietro (Bologna)

The Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith is a 500 year old foundation that is cemented within the Vatican. Initiated in 1542 by Pope John III, this organisation has since shared and officiated church doctrine. If cardinals or priests have a question the Dicastery is the one who writes back. Letters to the consecrated editor if you will. 

It’s not often that the Dicastery has been part of news headlines, but on the 3rd of November they published the succinctly titled “ Answers to Several Questions from His Excellency, the Most Reverend José Negri, Bishop of Santo Amaro, Brazil, Regarding Participation in the Sacraments of Baptism and Matrimony by Transgender Persons and Homosexual Persons”. 

The voice of the Vatican clarified that people who were transgender could be baptized and them along with them homosexuals could potentially act as godparents. 

From this came a media storm, great changes were reported to be happening within the church, dare I even say could the Catholic church begin to be considered progressive?  While this step is an important one and does reflect some sort of doctrinal alteration within the institution, we must not get too excited for as always, the devil is in the detail. 

Two main points are worth considering, one- the Catholic Church still treats members of the LBGTQ+ community as people who participate in an immoral lifestyle, and two- the church leaves prudence within the hands of the clergy, a group of men who has been told repeatedly that queers who act on their urges represent “an intrinsic moral evil”. 

On to the first point of living as a sinful being. In the 2023 response to the Brazilian Bishop the Dicastry makes repeated mention of the Baptismal reflections of St. Thomas Aquinas taught and St. Augustine of Hippo. These two Saints who both wrote repeatedly on how Baptism itself can lead the sinner to a life of righteousness. 

“even if a man falls into sin, Christ does not destroy the character 

received by him in Baptism and seeks (quaerit) the sinner, in whom this character is 

imprinted that identifies him as his property”

Answers to Several Questions from His Excellency, the Most Reverend José Negri, Bishop of Santo Amaro, Brazil, Regarding Participation in the Sacraments of Baptism and Matrimony by Transgender Persons and Homosexual Persons- 2023

Saint Augustine, by Philippe de Champaigne, 1650

So, what the Church is saying through its own mouthpiece is yes, we don’t support your actions, you are still an abomination but why not join us? Join us and maybe the Catholic guilt will free your soul to an everlasting liberation. Don’t find salvation in yourself, they say, because within the pride of one-self is only sin, find salvation instead in the sacrosanct of Jesus.™, join us for Sundays and pay your tithe. Look how progressive the Church is, they would even consider letting some queers in through the front door!

I say consider, because “considering” leads us to point two; the latitude given to ministers to exercise their sacred rites. Let us dive back into the letter and pour through the details of how these ceremonies are considered.

“However, since such a task does not constitute a right, pastoral prudence demands that it should not be allowed if there is a danger of scandal, undue legitimization or disorientation in the educational sphere of the church community… due pastoral prudence demands that every situation be wisely weighed, in order to safeguard the sacrament of baptism”

Answers to Several Questions from His Excellency, the Most Reverend José Negri, Bishop of Santo Amaro, Brazil, Regarding Participation in the Sacraments of Baptism and Matrimony by Transgender Persons and Homosexual Persons -2023

Jurisdiction of who is let into the church is left to the hands of the local priesthood. They are the frontline soldiers of the churches, soldiers who have been and still are told that a queer lifestyle is a sinful lifestyle. In 2021 the Dicastery released a declaration stating that blessings could not be applied to same-sex relations as...

“there are absolutely no grounds for considering homosexual unions to be in any way similar or even remotely analogous to God’s plan for marriage and family”

-Responsum of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith to a dubium regarding the blessing of the unions of persons of the same sex- 2021

The Catholic Church's power stems from a moral authority built on a long standing catalogue of theological texts and declarations. It’s not just the bible, but also the words of Saints and previous proclamations the Church has made to build up this catalogue. The Authority of the papacy drips from their ability to cling to the past.The Church considers themselves harbingers of the eternal word of God and when you consider your words as eternal it only makes sense that your reforms end up moving at a snail's pace. It afterall took the Church 359 years to apologise for threatening to burn Galileo alive for surmounting proposing the foundational fact that indeed the Earth really does revolve around the sun. 

The Church is by all accounts a conservative, not a reformative organisation and this reflects on their relationship with the queer community. They have said that no one should have the door of the Lord closed to them, and yet the church hands the key not the people but to their foot soldiers to carry out the orders. For decades these priests and members of the ministry have diligently listened to the Church’s words and teachings. They listened when they called homosexuals sinful and they listened when Pope Francis likened gender theory to nuclear weapons, and it’s to these people that the Dicastery entrusted them to allow a more “open” space within the Church. 

Yes Pope Francis is the most palatable Pope us queers have seen in a very long time. Yes, his Jesuit robes and teachings may be the teaspoon of sugar to the bitter elixir that is the Vatican but boy is it a big, powerful Church, and it's going to take a lot more than 4 grams of sweetener to hide its taste of something so pungent. 

“It’s not a crime. Yes, but it’s a sin,” 

Pope Francis on homosexuality, January 2023

It’s important for me to reflect on the role of The Dicastery, for in that I find my own role for myself as an artist. The Church is spending effort, money and time to release edicts to change the world in the direction they see fit. They preserve their power and their own authority by recalling the past. 

It’s not good enough for the Pope to sit down and break bread with people in the Trans community or let selected gay couples into their converted rituals. I will not be lectured that I'm a sinful creature, I simply expect more from a moral authority that speaks to 1.3 billion individuals. I’m not looking for change from within because it will never reach the pace I desire. The power structures of the Church rely on the slow moving of social tides not the wash and crash of a reformative storm. Well us queers are that storm, we are that destabilising factor that will come in like Noah's flood and wash these pontificated men out on their behinds.

This is my Dicastery, these are my edicts to inflict my agency onto the world, an agency that is truly filled with an undying love for my fellow human beings and sacrosanct of the self that any Abrahamic God wishes they could come near. My edicts are ones that indulge in the pleasures in humanity, from sucking cock to denying the shame of Catholic guilt. My soul nor my pride will never be held to ransom by the white robes of the ordained, I simply respect my soul too much. 

Keep rocking that boat, never accept that enough is enough till the Pontificate is on their knees begging us for forgiveness. x

Pope Pius VIII kneeling, St Peter's Bassillica, Monument by Pietro Tenerani, 1866

CBS San Francisco 2015 ,Pope Francis Compares Transgender People To Nuclear Weapons In New Book, CBS online news article, Feb 20th, accessed on 19th november 2023,< https://www.cbsnews.com/sanfrancisco/news/pope-francis-compares-transgender-people-to-nuclear-weapons-in-new-book/ >

Columbia College, N/A, Saint Augustine, by Philippe de Champaigne, 1650, Core Curriculum Catalogue, Accessed on 26th November 2023, <Saint Augustine, by Philippe de Champaigne, 1650. | The Core Curriculum (columbia.edu)>

Dallas K, 2023, The pope’s latest comments on same-sex marriage, explained, Desert News Article, October 3rd, Viewed on 25th November 2023, <https://www.deseret.com/faith/2023/10/3/23901388/pope-comments-on-same-sex-marriage>

Dicastery for the doctrine of the faith, 1995, SOME CONSIDERATIONS CONCERNING THE RESPONSE TO LEGISLATIVE PROPOSALS ON THE NON-DISCRIMINATION OF HOMOSEXUAL PERSONS* ,<https://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_19920724_homosexual-persons_en.html  >, accessed on 19th November 2023

Dicastery for the document of the faith, Translated by Lewis M, 2023 ,English Translation of the DDF’s Dubia Response to H.E. Msgr. Jose Negri (Oct. 31, 2023), 

,<https://reasonandtheology.com/2023/11/08/english-translation-answers-to-several-questions-from-h-e-bishop-jose-negri-of-santo-amaro-regarding-participation-in-the-sacraments-of-baptism-and-marriage-by-transgender-individuals-and-people-i/ >, accessed on 19th November 2023

Fastenburg D 2010, The Galileo Case, Time Magazine online article, 17th June,  Viewed 26th November 2023, <https://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1997272_1997273_1997285,00.html> 

Luis F, 2021 ,Responsum of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith to a dubium regarding the blessing of the unions of persons of the same sex, Dicastery for the doctrine of the faith , accessed on 19th November 2023

,<https://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20210222_responsum-dubium-unioni_en.html  >

Winfield N, 2023, Pope suggests blessings for same-sex unions possible in response to 5 conservative cardinals, Associated Press online article, October 2nd, Accessed on 25th november 2023,<https://apnews.com/article/vatican-conservatives-synod-lgbtq-5c6e33d4d45aea1b0b5553d3acc799e1> 

Winfield N, Thomas T 2023, For this group of trans women, the pope and his message of inclusivity are a welcome change, Associated Press online article, 19th November 2023, Viewed 26th November 2023,<https://apnews.com/article/vatican-transgender-lgbtq-b3d67868504ba701cce09da9ecc94de0>

Vactican, DICASTERY FOR THE DOCTRINE OF THE FAITH, Vatican official website, Viewed at 23rd November 2023, <https://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_pro_14071997_en.html>

Mortification of the flesh; The story of pain and pleasure, shame and power

He is the original toxic dom. A non-consensual expression of shame and sanctity. A control freak who demands that you must submit without sanction. Bend to their rules, to their sadism, not for your own pleasure or fulfilment but to remind you must never feel proud for your soul is tarnished by sin. The entity I speak about is his holiness, the God of the Catholic Church. 

The Ecstasy of Saint Teresa - Gian Lorenzo Bernini
 Cornaro Chapel of the church of Santa Maria della Vittoria in Rome
Saint Teresa often is often inferred to be having an orgasm in her connection to God 

“Pleasure and pain were the earliest forms of emotion to evolve” 

Jaak Panksepp , American neuroscientist

(pg 320, Leknes, S,Tracey I, 2010)

Pain and pleasure are fundamental parts of the human-psyche. These sensations however are not singular auras on opposing ends of a spectrum but a webwork of neural pathways that interweave and intermix. Like any bodily sensation these feelings involve internal processing of the brain that rely on our own contextual history. Conversations between the frontal lobe and the posterior parietal cortex occur every time pain-potential nerve endings are fired. This deliberation sees these sections of the brain weigh up risk and context in order to create the searing feelings we end up feeling. From stepping on a nail to biting your lip your previous experiences may directly alter your current ones. We can acknowledge this by realising the same cause of pain can result in differing subjective circumstances between people, time and place. The interesting question arises as to whether pleasure can be found when pain is experienced. 

“To our knowledge, neuroimaging studies of pain have not identified a single brain region that has not also been implicated in aspects of reward processing”

(pg 322, Leknes, S,Tracey I, 2010)

Of course there are the physical structures of the mind, the highways and interchanges that make up the maze-like nature of the brain. Along these pathways opioid and dopamine chemicals are hauled as cargo to be routinely delivered to the pleasure centres of the brain. The modulation of pain and pleasure rely on the same roads and the same chemicals. It's no wonder after knowing this, why some humans may seek pleasure through pain. From sadists and masochists performing an impact scene together to joggers running till they have shin splints there are constant examples of human becoming elated by what others would deem as a “displeasurable experience”. How these two threads of pleasure and pain interweave are both varied and nuanced, but one thing is certain, these connections are natural, they are commonplace and they should not be carried with shame.

“So it is not surprising, given the weakness of our fallen nature, that some things can become associated with our sexual nature that don’t in fact have anything to do with it in its healthy functioning”

Friar. Hugh Barbour, Priest of St. Michael’s Abbey

Diocese of Orange ,California

Shame, hypocrisy and subjugation. These are the weapons of the Catholic church, an institution that deems to lecture on what is considered spiritually and sexually healthy. A pack of repressed clergy who dare to tell what is right, what is moral and what we ought to be ashamed of. The absolute richness and deception of these namecallers to defile us, queer, kinky, consenting fun loving adults as the perverts. They are a clergy of men who at the best of times must be described as sexually repressed and dysfunctional. These cloaked men of faith and intolerance will put their noses up to leather-bound adults teasing and playing in safe spaces all the while many of them participate in acts of self-flagellation in the name of the original daddy, God. No kink deserved to be shamed, but hypocrisy and intolerance does. 

Confessional - San Petronio, Bologna

Self-flagellation has been officially part of the church's idealism of self control since the 16th century. During this period changes into the practice were adopted where striking not only incorporated shoulders and back but also raw unclothed buttocks. This caused quite a stir in the church. Goodness gracious, could there be an element of sexual pleasure where these priests flogged their behinds till they bleed and their souls repented in ecstasy?!  Of course like any toxic dominant does, these questions of intrigue were quickly squashed and silenced. The catholic calls this practice “the mortification of the flesh”; A literal translation of bringing shame to the body. It’s a degradation kink that's based on doctrine instead of consent. There is no communication in the Diocese, only devotion and servitude,dedication to Daddy deity and the robed men who surround him. In their utilisation of shame and pain the church has grown power through controlling human expression through only the outlets it deemed fit. This power has gilded their golden towers at the same time it has created complexes for those who wish to explore pleasure and pain within healthy realms and exploration and consent. Shame controls people, it stifles self expression and enforces the status quo. People hold themselves back from what might bring them fulfilment in the presence of the teachings of the vatican. All the while these men of God flog themselves in private enjoying their fucked up doctrines in their own un-healthly ways. 

“We could hear it when we were in the next room at Castel Gandolfo. You could hear the sound of the blows when he would flagellate himself. He did it when he was still capable of moving on his own.”

-Descriptions of the late Pope John Paul II acts of self-flagellation that adhered to church doctrine.

(pg 10,Cirillo A, 2012)

Don’t shame the kink, shame the hypocrisy, shame the intolerance, shame the power. 

Shame to the church that stands on marble floors willing to condemn us for our pride and our lust. Find pride in your own existence, find pride in what they deem sinful, for with pride there is no shame.

BARBOUR, H ,The Attraction of Aberrant Behavior, Catholic Answers , Accessed on 11th November 2023, <https://www.catholic.com/qa/the-attraction-of-aberrant-behavior>

Cirillo A, 2012, Self-Flagellation as Sanctification in the Roman Catholic Church's Prelature of the Holy Cross and Opus Dei, Academic Article, accessed on 10th November 2023, <https://sa.rochester.edu/jur/issues/fall2011/cirillo_rel.pdf>

Vandermeersch, P. (2009). "Self-Flagellation In The Early Modern Era". In The Sense of Suffering: Constructions of Physical Pain in Early Modern Culture. Leiden, The Netherlands: Brill.

Leknes, S,Tracey I, 2010,  "Pain and pleasure: masters of mankind." Pleasures of the brain: 320-335, oxford university press, New York City, USA

TEDx, 2011, TEDxAdelaide - Lorimer Moseley - Why Things Hurt, Youtube video, 22 November, Accessed on 23 November 2023, <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwd-wLdIHjs>

Sinful Taste

I never thought it would lack such taste. Yes, it's beautiful, the Byzantine inspired mosaics, the flowing drapes of baroque marble, the chiaroscuro composition of 17th century stretched canvas. Yes, it's there locked away in Saint Peter’s basilica. It’s all there and it's all a lot! Like 100 generations of Franco Cozzo* stacked atop of each, it's a temple to eclectic excess. There have been 266 popes and you can see many of them at Saint Peters wanting to out- grandize their predecessor. And boy through the gold, the polished stone they’ve done a great job at not holding back. I love the art in Vatican City. I just hate the fact it resides there. The finest art secured away by ancient doors with ancient seals. Its doors are locked while sacred men act as custodians of the keys. If only the keys were given to women or some queer surely the layout would be better and the message oh so less bitter. 

I could just be writing this because I’m tired and frustrated. I’m in one of those sleep deprived places where the emotions are feeling raw, they feel like they are buzzing just below the skin, just where the tendons and muscles meet my layers of fat. At any moment they could ride to the surface as goosebumps or tears, but for the moment they just sit there buzzing. 

I can feel myself becoming more radicalised at the same time I am embracing my true self. I’ve made art that matters, yes I’ve written artists statements but finally this artist has something that needs to be stated. We’ve got a lot of work to do, institutions to tear down and manifestos to build up. It's time to create, in order to rebel against a one dimensional patriarchal system occupied by clergy. If indeed my existence is in itself blasphemous my work deserves to be blasphemous. Assuming my life is a deadly lustful sin, then my art in order to be true needs to reflect that. It’s time to radicalise and expel those demons of the priesthood and fill them with the virtues of the queer, kink community. 

I think nipple clamps would suit the bare chest of Saint Andrew best x. 

* For those of you not from Melbourne, Australia, please watch this video. 

Franco Cozzo TV Commercial

- Edited transcript of visit to Saint Peter's Basilica from 30/10/2023

Heavy Rains in Florence 3/11/2023

The rains are here. Downpours and swells have met me at an appropriate time. For as this Tuscan city is washed and cleansed so too am I. The litter and baggage of youth  is being swept above by the fresh showers of an enlightened mind. New ways of imagining myself have solidified as I’ve gained techniques to process thought. 

With an internal monologue that speaks at the rhythm that mine does it’s easy to get lost in cycles of thoughts. I find these currents of ideas and emotions build up and up inside of me till there's no-where to go. Of course I’ve utilized these updraughts of mental stimulation for productive purposes. Every semester each one of my Uni subjects I always left my studio subjects to the last minute. Forced by over-aspinational plans for work and driven by an artistic sense of pride I would work feverishly into the final deadlined night. Dosed up on dare iced coffees and 6 Inch Subways subs I tinkered on till I was the last person working in the studio. I always remember a certain point I would become flushed with heat, it could be mid-winter in those Mebounre studios but i would be none the wiser, singlet clad I would run back and forth between multiple spots in the studio, yes I was spinning multiple plates to get the assignment done but baby that's how I did it, and fail me not once every time I got it done. 

It was only till years later I found out why the room had felt so hot, I had always thought it was my flexing muscles and active cardio that was pushing my body to further temperatures while what it actually was my body being in a mode of absolute panic. 

Our bodies have developed systems long ago to adapt to their surroundings, our flight and fight mode is such one of them. What I was feeling in these moments of heat was the hot-shot of Adrenaline that was being delivered straight into my bloodstream. They call it 

Vasodilation, the widening of blood vessels. If we understand that it is the constriction of blood vessels that lead your un-gloved fingers to feel cold, then we can easily understand how dilation could lead to that feeling of heat. It's a feeling that arrives first in the front of your face and washes through till it arrives at your toes. Menopausal women know exactly what I'm talking about, it’s the same dilation of blood vessel’s walls that causes the infamous “hot flush”. Yes anxiety has served me well, I think this is largely why I can think so well under pressure, because I’ve done so darn much of it. I’ve gotten a lot out of anxiety, probably more than most who suffer at the hands of a quick clicking mind.

But of course to every Ying there must be Yang and for every flight and flight there were also overanalysis and spirals. It’s a cycle that once it gets started comes with a momentum of its own. The heart pounds the, the cortisol spikes, the mind goes and chews through thoughts and inferred meanings. Each of the steps can loop back into the process creating a feedback effect of where your thoughts can feel so strong because they are being backed up with the most powerful chemicals known to the human body. 

For the first time today I did something I've never done before, I stopped the cycle. Yes I have previously clawed my way back from near panic attacks ,but today was different, today was the first time I stopped it in its own tracks before it had even begun. The thoughts started, the cortisol flowed into my bloodstream and yet I paused not to continue the cycle I’ve done thousands of times, I paused to breathe in and exhale. Three short deep breaths pulled through the diaphragm and boom, back and level-headed. It felt as if I’d almost flicked this buzzing fly away with one finger, poof and gone. 

I’ve known and done breath work for a long time, but it's only recently I’ve been able to manifest its positive qualities so successfully. I both know a lot more about my body as I do my own mind, both from internal and external perspectives. I’ve isolated my egos within my own mind over this trip. I can now see where the dispersions of mind stem from, what my motivations are, what is my conditioning, what makes me, me. 

I’ve also invested a lot of time into the external view, the studies, the chemicals, the analytics behind us all. Cortisol, often called the stress chemical, is primed and readied by systems within our autonomic nervous systems. Fight and flight responses that are holdouts from when we needed to get the heart pumping and blood sugared up in case a lion gave chase.

It’s quick breaths that symbolise the moment of panic while it’s slow deep breaths that symbolises calmness. There's no mistake there for the parasympathetic nervous system is shown to become active through slow, deep breath work. Your parasympathetic nervous system or PNS (yes, get the giggles out kids) is what your body uses to regulate your energy so that when you rest you can metabolise and process foods and liquids. By breathing in slowly and deeply you are actively triggering this rest inducing system, we can see this by the measurable drop in cortisol levels that occurs from breathwork. This is something we can see in the laboratory but it's also something I felt today. When my mind’s chemical structures intermeshed with my own mindful practices I found quietness; A quietness that can only be felt after a heavy rain.